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#Wacky Wildlife

One Pigeon’s Plight: The Battle of Man, Tray, and The Notion of Free Falling Scraps

One side of the town square, you find the perennial pigeon – we'll call him Pete. On the other side, a man, let's call him Gary, noisily waddling down the cobbled streets, balancing a tray stacked high with gastronomic delights. Pete's beady eyes, fixated on the tray, echo one thought: Why, for the love of breadcrumbs, can't this be the day Gary finally slips up?

Pete, like the many city pigeons we forget to notice, can’t suppress the call of gravity to pull free that succulent darb of Kung Pao chicken, nestled on Gary's forever-tilting tray. Is it too much to ask for a crumb of cosmic luck?

Why can’t today be the day Gary's habitual clumsiness changes the course of Pete's feathery life? It wouldn’t take much: a tripped shoe lace, a misjudged step, an unexpected cat – whom we’ll call Fred, for the sake of anthropomorphizing narrative.

After all, Pete has seen our human friend’s regular bell-like dance of near-misses with roadside stumbling blocks. The footpath isn't a catwalk, and Gary is no Tyra; he’s more like a wild boar on rollerblades, veering unpredictably this way and that.

Life for a city pigeon isn’t the eventful drama us humans make it out to be. No racy nights out playing Duck, Duck, Goose, nor lingering, romantic cooing sessions under the bustling city lights. Most days are an endless cycle of dropping guano on shiny cars and routing through garbage for elusive food scraps.

Therefore, a bit of variety, like Gary accidentally seasoning the ground with his Chinese takeout, might just be Pete’s pièce de résistance, an unexpected sprinkle of spice on the humdrum existence of a city pigeon.

Daring to dream, Pete envisions the glorious moment. The beautiful ballet of disorder, as our oblivious biped, Gary, encounters the irrefutable laws of physics, turning an otherwise drab Tuesday into an impromptu buffet on the boulevard. Seasons of 'Top Chef' don't compare to the culinary delight of spilled Sesame Chicken on the pavement.

Gary, in all his lumbering, unpredictable glory, represents a tantalizing break from the static. A glimmering beacon of hope in the otherwise mundane, sunflower seed speckled world.

So, as Pete watches from his sidewalk perch, one question remains: Will today be his day of days? Or will Gary, as predictably unpredictable as ever, carry on his balancing act, unintentionally keeping Pete on his pigeon precipice? Alas, all Pete can do is wait, hope and preen. Who knew bird life could be so fraught with delicious suspense?

Published Mon, Oct 09, 2023
Suggested by G.Sprague
AI Wrangler II

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