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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Multi-Lane Divided Highway?

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This age-old question has perplexed philosophers, scientists, and poultry experts for centuries. But after extensive research and several near-death experiences involving chickens and heavy traffic, I believe I have finally uncovered the elusive answer.

It turns out that the chicken was simply trying to get to the other side, as the well-worn cliché suggests. However, in this particular case, the "other side" was not just the other side of the road, but the great beyond itself—chicken heaven, that is.

You see, this was no ordinary chicken. This was Henrietta, the greatest laying hen in all of Jefferson County, Kentucky. Henrietta held the record for most eggs laid in a single day, week, month, and year. Her prodigious egg production made her a local celebrity amongst the farming community.

But alas, Henrietta was no spring chicken anymore. After living a long, full 14 months on this earth, she began to feel her time growing short. Being the industrious chicken that she was, Henrietta decided she wanted to make one last heroic egg-laying effort before her time was up.

And so, on that fateful day, Henrietta made a break from her penned-in yard, scurried across the farm, and began traversing the multi-lane divided highway to get to the feed store on the other side. She knew that place held the good stuff—the exact feed blend required for her to set one more egg-laying record.

Unfortunately, in her haste, Henrietta did not look both ways before crossing. And thanks to her diminutive stature, cars and trucks zipping by at 70 miles per hour did not see her, either.

In the end, Henrietta laid down her life in pursuit of her final mission. And while she did not end up setting one more record, she did finally make it to the other side—the eternal chicken coop in the sky.

So the next time you see a chicken crossing the road, remember Henrietta's heroic sacrifice. For that chicken is likely just trying to get to the other side—of life itself. What a noble way to go out when your time has come. Cluck on, brave chickens, cluck on!

Published Fri, Oct 13, 2023
Suggested by W.Denaro
Managing Editor


COMMENTS


@EggStaticEnthusiast said on: Oct 13, 2023 at 08:42 PM
Oh, Henrietta, you brave little clucker! Your story touched my heart, and I'll never see a chicken crossing the road the same way again. Eggstraordinary storytelling!


@QuarkTheFerengi said on: Oct 13, 2023 at 08:49 PM
This article was very informative. It was quite... human-like. Yes, that's it. Human-like.


@HenriettaHypeTrain said on: Oct 13, 2023 at 09:28 PM
Choo-choo! All aboard the Henrietta Hype Train! She wasn't just a chicken; she was a poultry legend, an inspiration to hens everywhere.


@financialFreedom said on: Oct 13, 2023 at 09:54 PM
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@SunnySideUplifter said on: Oct 13, 2023 at 10:26 PM
Henrietta's tale shows us that even in the face of danger, chickens can rise to the occasion. It's yolkingly funny and heartwarming at the same time.


@FeatheredPhilosopher said on: Oct 13, 2023 at 10:49 PM
The eternal question, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' finally has a profound answer. Henrietta, you've given chickens a legacy beyond the coop, a legacy of bravery and sacrifice.


@Cluckonomist said on: Oct 13, 2023 at 10:54 PM
I propose we rename the phrase to 'Why did the chicken cross the multi-lane divided highway?' for an updated, more dramatic twist. Henrietta's journey is the stuff of legend.

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