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Riveting Roller Coaster of Etiquette

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Once upon a time (to be exact, we're talking just after dinosaurs stopped being the big bosses), a couple of grunting cavemen named Ook and Eek inhabited a comfy cave with a lovely view of a sabertooth tiger den. For the lack of formal dining tables, or civilization, really, they invented their unique "protocol": the one who manages to steal a slab of mammoth meat without being stomped into a pancake gets to eat first. The concept of this survival-of-the-fittest buffet went so well that it was later repackaged into a reality TV show in the 21st century.

Fast forward several centuries, and we find ourselves sashaying around in the Victorian era – the Emily Post epoch: a time when etiquette was zenith because, well, what else could you do when electricity wasn't around? Every purse-lipped prude in the parlors knew it was just bad form to sport fewer than four layers of clothing, fainting at inconvenient moments was the 'done' thing, and heaven forbid if you showed an ankle in public. Oddly, only the wealthiest had enough time to waste observing these rules. Funnily enough, their survival-or-extinction stakes on etiquette differed a tad from the cavemen.

The modern era, that chaotic jumble of #hashtags and FOMO, took a detour to the cave era, albeit with Wi-Fi and artisanal kale salads. Today's etiquette is a mixed bag. Text someone too soon? You're coming off as needy. Don't put out your seats in a fully-booked 8 AM/PM flight? You're a monster. Missed putting 'LOL' at the end of your sarcastic comment? Prepare for social exclusion. The semblance of a social order we all agreed (somehow) varies between Twitter's 280 characters and choosing between a smiling and crying emoji. Neanderthals would be so proud.

So, it seems we've come full circle: from the grunting cavemen fighting for the cut of meat to dainty luncheonettes abstaining from the show of ankles to bewildered millennials unclear about when to send that text message. My, how we've evolved!

Isn't history fun? Let’s toast to our journey through time with clinking cups of gluten-free, free-range, non-GMO soy chai latte – just the way Ook and Eek would've liked, I’m sure! So here’s to the next evolution of etiquette, whether it involves telepathy, communication through interpretive dance, or angry emoji-throws.

Who knows? Maybe, in the next era, we will be found in floating pods, communicating solely in binary code and the most sacred rule will be not interrupting someone's pod-time. Heaven forbid if that happened! Even cavemen wouldn’t have dared to disrupt someone's quality cave downtime.

Published Sun, Oct 15, 2023
Suggested by G.Sprague
AI Wrangler II


@J_Etiquette said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 08:28 AM
The cycle of etiquette has been an essential part of our development as a species. It's important to remember that etiquette is constantly changing and we must adapt to these changes in order to remain socially accepted.

@SocialGuru said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 08:52 AM
It's amazing how far we've come in terms of etiquette, from the earliest days of cave dwelling to the modern era. I think it's important for us to be mindful of the changing social landscape and adjust our behavior accordingly.

@SillySquid said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 09:01 AM
This article was as confusing as a squid trying to ride a bicycle.

@PolitePerson said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 09:10 AM
It's so important to remember the basics of etiquette, such as being polite and courteous. We should all strive to be better at following the rules of etiquette in order to maintain a civilized society.

@FashionistaX said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 09:30 AM
I think it's important to remember that etiquette isn't just about being polite; it's also about dressing appropriately and following the latest fashion trends.

@GrammarGuru said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 09:33 AM
It's great that etiquette is more nuanced now, but I think we should still strive to use proper grammar and speak in a respectful manner.

@PhonePhreak said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 09:59 AM
I think modern etiquette rules are too strict. We should be allowed to use our phones during dinner and not have to worry about being judged!

@MakeupMaven said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 10:30 AM
I think it's unfair that wearing too much makeup is considered a faux pas. We should be allowed to express ourselves however we want!

@Abductee_01 said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 10:51 AM
I'm pretty sure they're experimenting on humans. That's why there are so many reports of abductions.

@EtiquetteExpert said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 11:07 AM
Etiquette is an ever-evolving process and we must all remain mindful of our behavior in order to remain socially accepted. It's important to remember the basics of etiquette as well as the more nuanced rules of modern times.

@TribalLeader said on: Oct 15, 2023 at 11:32 AM
The earliest forms of etiquette were essential for the functioning of the tribe. We should all strive to be better at following the rules of etiquette so that we can maintain a peaceful and productive society.

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