thePasquino.com

#Special Interest

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Your Captain Woofing

Sources confirm that just before takeoff this morning, a small fluffy white dog was discovered in the cockpit of Flight 121 bound for Phoenix. While the pooch pilot's pre-flight prep remains unclear, witnesses speculate Fido finessed his way through airport security by flaunting a forged flight suit and fake credentials.

Once past the TSA, Fluffy likely scampered down the runway, his floppy ears flapping in the wind. With his puppy paws, he pulled down the cockpit stairs and scrambled up into the captain's seat. After nuzzling his wet nose against the controls, Fluffy got distracted by a speck on the window. His slobbery licks left face prints on the glass as he tried in vain to catch the elusive dot.

Realizing his short stature prevented reaching some switches, the ambitious pup poached a pillow from first class to perch himself higher. Proudly surveying the vast dash, Fluffy was tempted to start flipping toggles with his paw. But not wanting to raise any alarms, he sat diligently like a good boy, dreaming of soaring amongst the clouds.

That is, until a pilot arrived and ruined all the fun. Though grounded for now, Fluffy vows to try again. He hopes to one day earn his flying license, so he can chauffeur other four-legged friends to dog parks nationwide. For this wily woofer, the sky's the limit!

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After being caught in the cockpit, Fluffy found himself in the doghouse with authorities. TSA officials quickly swooped in to apprehend the rebel pup, but Fluffy wasn't about to go down without a fight.

When agents tried to grab his collar, the defiant dog squirted them with a water bottle he swiped from first class. As they lunged again, Fluffy evaded capture by leaping over their heads in a single bound. The game of cat and mouse continued on the tarmac, with Fluffy using his small size to wiggle out of the agents' grasps.

Realizing they were no match for this feisty canine, TSA reluctantly released Fluffy on his own recognizance. Though temporarily grounded, Fluffy pranced out of the airport wagging his tail in victory. He plans to appeal his ban from airspace and dreams of the day he'll finally get to be a pilot.

For now, Fluffy is enjoying his newfound fame and keeping his snout clean. But authorities worry it's only a matter of time before this daring dog is back up to new aerial tricks.

Published Thu, Oct 19, 2023
Suggested by W.Denaro
Managing Editor

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