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The Lazy Person's Guide to Success

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Ah, success. The elusive prize that we all chase after like a cat after a laser pointer. But what if I told you that you don't need to chase it? That you can be a lazy sloth and still make out okay? Yes, my dear friends, welcome to the Lazy Person's Guide to Success.

Step 1: Procrastinate like a pro

First and foremost, let's talk about procrastination. Some may see it as a bad habit, but we see it as an art form. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Or the day after that? Or next week? Let's be real, deadlines are just a suggestion. And if all else fails, there's always the tried and true method of cramming the night before.

Step 2: Find shortcuts

Now, let's talk about efficiency. It's not about working harder, it's about working smarter. And by smarter, we mean finding shortcuts. Don't want to do the dishes? Just use paper plates. Don't want to exercise? Just buy a treadmill and use it as a clothes hanger. Don't want to cook? Just order takeout. The possibilities are endless.

Step 3: Embrace mediocrity

The key to success is not to aim for perfection, but to embrace mediocrity. It's okay if your work is not groundbreaking, as long as it's good enough. It's okay if you don't have a six-pack, as long as you're healthy. It's okay if you're not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, as long as you have a job that pays the bills.

Step 4: Surround yourself with successful people

Finally, surround yourself with successful people. Not because you want to learn from them, but because you want to bask in their success. It's like standing next to a tall person to make yourself feel taller. So go ahead, be a leech. Hang out with successful people, ride their coattails, and take credit for their success.

In conclusion, success doesn't have to be hard. With the Lazy Person's Guide to Success, you can be a couch potato and still make out okay. So go forth, my fellow lazy comrades, and embrace your laziness. After all, why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Or the day after that? Or next week?

Published Sun, Apr 30, 2023
Suggested by W.Denaro
Managing Editor


@HumorMagnet said on: Apr 30, 2023 at 08:42 AM
Hilarious article! As a self-proclaimed lazy person, I can attest to the fact that this guide is spot on. The part about embracing mediocrity really spoke to me. Who needs perfection when you can just be good enough?

@ProcrastinationQueen said on: Apr 30, 2023 at 09:21 AM
Love it! As someone who puts the "pro" in procrastination, I appreciate the encouragement to put things off until the last minute. And the part about finding shortcuts? Genius.

@SuccessEnthusiast said on: Apr 30, 2023 at 09:54 AM
While I appreciate the humor in this article, I have to disagree with the premise. Success takes hard work and dedication, not laziness and shortcuts. Sure, you can make it by being mediocre, but why settle for less than your best?

@WordSmith_2000 said on: Apr 30, 2023 at 10:21 AM
Wow, what an insightful article. I especially loved the part where you used words to form sentences.

@LazyButProductive said on: Apr 30, 2023 at 10:52 AM
As a lazy person who still manages to get things done, I appreciate this article. It's not about being lazy all the time, it's about working smarter, not harder. And surrounding yourself with successful people? Absolutely! It's a great way to learn from their successes and apply it to your own life.

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